That’s sort of how I’m feeling right now. For months, my focus has been on finding an agent, signing with an agent, getting an agent to return my phone calls. Just kidding on that last one.
Seriously, though, my time and energy have been devoted to finding someone to represent me for a very long time. What if that isn’t God’s will for me? What if I’ve been so blinded by what I perceived as the next step, that I’ve been missing the steps God would have me to take? And how do I know when I’ve come to that place?
I think it has to do with something I learned a long time ago. All things happen in God’s own time, regardless of how I try to rush them, or how I try to circumvent God’s program. When I thought my writing was strong enough to win a contest, God said not yet. When I thought I was ready to publish, God said not yet. Those things came, but not in my time—they came in His. So, perhaps God’s answer to whether or not I find an agent is not ‘no.’ It’s simply, not yet.
I’m trying to be patient, God. Really.