Women's Compact Instruction Book

Rule #1 - Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless.

Rule #2 - Don't imagine you can change a man-unless he's in diapers.

Rule #3 - What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.

Rule #4 - If they put a man on the moon-they should be able to put them all there.

Rule #5 - Tell him you're not his type-you have a pulse.

Rule #6 - A man who can dress himself without looking like Forrest Gump is unquestionably gay.

Rule #7 - Men are all the same-they just have different faces so you can tell them apart.

Rule #8 - Women don't make fools of men-most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

Rule #9 - The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it.

Rule #10 - Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

Rule #11 - The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times men wouldn't ask for directions.

Rule #12 - If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.

Rule #13 - Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means you laugh at his.

Rule #14 - Sadly, all men are created equal.