Top 10 Signs That It’s Time to Get a New Agent

10. His email has changed to agent@folsomprison.org

9. His psychiatrist calls to ask if you’ve seen or heard from him.

8. You see him in the post office, but it’s on a wanted poster.

7. He can only stay on the phone for 30 thirty seconds because he’s afraid “they” are listening.

6. His only other client is Martha Futzenheimer. Who, you ask? Exactly.

5. He refers to himself as Mr. Giggles. This is really bad if your agent is a woman.

4. The only time you saw him face to face you couldn’t get a word in because he kept repeating, “I’m a very good driver.”

3. A commercial for COPS comes on and your agent is the featured story. (Bad boys, bad boys…)

2. You go to a writer’s conference and all the other authors laugh and point when they find out who your agent is.

1. You read this list and eight out of the ten things listed fit your agent.