Things to Ponder

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? 2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?6. Why do "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?7. Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?8. Why do 'tug' boats push their...

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Women's Compact Instruction Book

Rule #1 - Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless.Rule #2 - Don't imagine you can change a man-unless he's in diapers.Rule #3 - What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.Rule #4 - If they put a man on the moon-they should be able to put them all there.Rule #5 - Tell him you're not his type-you have a pulse.Rule #6 - A man who can dress himself without looking like Forrest Gump is unquestionably...

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State Slogans

Alabama: Yes, We Have ElectricityAlaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!Arizona: But It's A Dry HeatArkansas: Literacy Ain't EverythingCalifornia: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your HondaColorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't BotherConnecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedy's Don't Own It YetDelaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our WaterFlorida: Ask Us About Our GrandkidsGeorgia: We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist ExtremismHawaii:...

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Top 10 Women's Tee-shirt Slogans

10. Guys have feelings too. But like...who cares?9. Next mood swing: 6 minutes. 8. Please don't make me kill you. 7. And your point is... 6. I used to be schizophrenic, but we're okay now. 5. Of course I don't look busy...I did it right the first time.4. All stressed out and no one to choke. 3. I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people. 2. How can I miss you if you won't go away? 1. Don't make me mad! I'm running out of places to hide...

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The Strange and Wonderful World of Publishing

Ah...writing.When I started this journey, I had no idea the twists and turns the road would take. Just this week, for example, I received two emails that typified the highs and lows of publication.The first was from my agent on a proposal we sent out based on Ellis Island. The first publisher said pass, which really stunk, because no matter how many books you publish, rejections...

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